Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
