Your mouth is God's brothel.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
