so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
