I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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