How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
