i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
