what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
