that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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