Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
