Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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