enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
