theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
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