Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
