yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
