Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
