I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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