Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I puked a lego.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
