just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
