You're so nebulous sometimes
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
