Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I think i peed on brittanys purse
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
