her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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