I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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