I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
