The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
