I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
