She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
