i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
