you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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