Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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