He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
