I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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