We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
