A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
why do cheetos always look like penises
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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