We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
