Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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