he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
you made out with another girl for some wings
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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