please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
