"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
