did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Randomize
