Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
