I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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