She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
