I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
