Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
