Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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