okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
