Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
