they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
