We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I think people are normalizing furries
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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