I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
