she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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