What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
