So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
