Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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